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You’re giving them the choice of keeping you in their back pocket for a rainy day emotional airbag to fallback on for an ego stroke, shag or a shoulder to lean on.

You’re also communicating that you’re OK with being a choice – there are other options – which allows them to keep their options open.

I’d say once, but I’m all too aware how people are obsessed with second chances. Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.

But three times and beyond – it’s time to get off the relationship crack. Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.

You’re not someone they can call up last minute and squeeze into their oh so hectic life.

You’re someone to be made plans with and to co-pilot a relationship and a future with.

You’ll never be able to move on with your life, feel a sense of personal contentment and forge a happier, mutually fulfilling relationship with someone that values you, if you’re option for someone else that doesn’t or only values you for what they can get out of you on their terms.

You’re hanging around waiting for them to break up with their new partner so you can pick up where you left off.

You let your ex call you up for an ego stroke or to bitch about their current relationship.

Here’s the thing: When you wait around for someone to ask you out and you put yourself on layaway so that you can be available should they see fit to ‘make contact’ and dignify you with their presence, you inadvertently communicate that not only do they not have to value your time or even you as a person, but that you’re an option.

An option I might add, that could do with filling up their life with better pastimes than being The weekend thing is just one example of many where you communicate that you’re OK with being an option.

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